A little voice note from my heart to yours—press play to listen in-browser or read a gentle summary below.
I wanted to take a moment to quietly celebrate something I’m really proud of.
We’re at the tail end of the school holidays, and I’ve been reflecting on how different this break has felt compared to others. Not long ago, I would’ve been at my wit’s end by this point—touched out, exhausted, desperate for space. I would’ve been silently counting down the days until Emilia returned to school. But this time? It’s been… peaceful.
Not because it’s been easier or because Emilia has changed—but because I have. My capacity has expanded. My nervous system has softened. My heart has opened. And I’ve learned how to honour both of our needs without abandoning either one.
This time, I planned for rest. I accounted for the three-day mark—when I usually hit a wall—and scheduled a trip to my dad’s, where I could lean on extra support and Emilia could soak up the social connection she thrives on.
We still had our rhythm—slow mornings, comfy clothes, a bit of pottering around—but I didn’t feel like I was constantly on. I gave myself space. And in doing so, gave Emilia the freedom to be her full, sunshine-filled, playful self… without it feeling like too much.
I’ve had to get really honest about where I used to shut that part of her down. Not maliciously. But in the way that tidying up should be efficient (for me), not playful (for her). Or how I’d expect her to transition at my pace, not her own. Seeing that has been hard—but also freeing. Because I wasn’t just asking her to dim her light. I was doing it to myself too.
And I don’t want that anymore.
So I’ve been letting in more of her joy. More of her spark. More of her “puppy dog energy” that just wants to be near me and share her happiness. And I’ve been learning how to meet it without losing myself in the process. Sometimes that means saying, “I’d love to play with you, but I need a moment first to fill my own cup.”
We’re figuring it out, together.
I’m not going to pretend I’ve got it all down. There’s still overwhelm. There’s still activation. But I’m no longer collapsing in burnout. I’m no longer bracing for the crash. I’m not gripping control just to feel safe.
Instead, I feel open. Curious. Creatively alive.
And I’m really excited to see what this next term brings.
With love,
Rhian xx
